EP 128 - Jealousy
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squadcaster-aae4_1_08-13-2024_092545: [00:00:00] Welcome back to alive and thriving. Do you love the new intro? How cool is it? I absolutely love it. If you are brand new here, welcome. My name is Jessica. I am a visionary, a mom of two. I am here living in Canberra where we are just getting to the end of our winter as I record this. And it's so nice to actually have had.
Some sunshine over the weekend. I feel like that has energized me so much. I'm going to start today's episode by saying quickly that if you have not yet downloaded your free stress free launch kit, then head straight to the link below in the show notes and download yours. Now it is a free resource.
Resource with five really specially curated EFT typing audios to help you overcome common emotional [00:01:00] challenges that you experienced through launches like stress brain, imposter syndrome, money blocks. There's five there and they are going to absolutely Sell your emotional health, as well as help you come back into your body through your most stressful times in your business.
So today I want to ask you, have you ever felt like you see somebody else's success and you have felt. Or maybe you felt envious. I wonder, do you know the difference between jealousy and envy? I wonder if maybe you scroll through social media and you see somebody else doing the thing that you really want to be doing, or You scroll through social media and you see someone doing something that you had never considered yourself doing, but for some reason you feel [00:02:00] threatened and you feel jealous and you feel inadequate if your green eyed monster, as they call it, your jealousy is coming through in your business.
Then today's episode is for you because that's exactly what we are going to be speaking about. And we've all been there. We've all had times where we have felt jealous or envious within our business and within our life, I'm sure as well. But I'm going to teach you something today that was taught to me, oh gosh, three, three or four years ago now.
And It is an absolute game changer when it comes to these kinds of feelings and the thoughts that come with them. So get ready to have your whole perception on jealousy shifted and to free yourself from those feelings and sensations and thoughts and beliefs that circle when you are feeling jealous.
First of all, let's [00:03:00] quickly touch on the difference between jealousy and envy, because sometimes I feel like though they are used interchangeably and they are definitely different. And I feel like for you, when you are having these feelings, it is important for you to be able to actually decipher between the two because jealousy typically Jealousy typically involves a sense of threat.
Jealousy particularly involves a sense of insecurity about a potential loss. So someone else's success, for example, might, you might perceive it to be taking away potential clients from you. Let's say you had a discovery call with someone and they chose not to go ahead working with you. And then you see on social media that they are working with somebody that you know, and maybe you feel really jealous.
You feel inadequate, but you also have a fear. And an insecurity or loss feeling around it. [00:04:00] Okay. So that's the sort of thing that we would apply jealousy to where there is a fear sensation, a loss sensation, a scarcity sensation, some, something that tells you on some level that there is a threat to you.
That person's going to take my client, that person, this, that person, this. That's where we would apply jealousy. Then when we look at envy, on the other hand, envy is more about having a desire for something that somebody else already has without necessarily feeling threatened though. So maybe that's where you see somebody is off on a luxurious Trip.
Maybe they're off on some beautiful Bali retreat. I know some of you might feel a little envious when you see my stories over the coming weeks. Just as I have looked at some beautiful people on holidays and, doing these amazing things and Oh gosh, that would be amazing. And you desire it, [00:05:00] but it's not a threat.
It's not got a potential loss. It's something that you are maybe longing for that you don't possess. Okay. But it's not something that is going to necessarily in your subconscious mind pose a direct threat to you or to your business. Now remember, we might perceive a threat as something that makes us feel inadequate, as something that makes us feel less than, as something that reaffirms a story or belief that we have about not being worthy, not being good enough.
We might be triggering an old childhood wounds that coach who, that, I'm sorry, client who chose a different coach and then you're sitting there being reminded of the time that everybody else has picked before you to go and play the tips game so you just you, might not.
See the threat as being logical, and it's purely going to depend on [00:06:00] your past experiences and the way that you perceive the world, which is why we are going to really talk about this today, because I really feel like jealousy is something that just de rails jealousy. People. Okay. Now, if you are struggling with the beliefs that we are going to speak about shortly, and you really want something to help you move forward through them quickly, you know what I'm going to say?
If you've been here before becoming limitless is your instant way to do that. And when I say instant if you join becoming limitless, it is a one time workshop. It is instant access. So you can go and jump straight in. Access the 90 minute workshop where you are going to identify not just the story that you're telling yourself, but the root cause of that, where it is located in your body through my four step framework or system, whatever you want to call it, my process that works with mind, body, and energy.[00:07:00]
You are then going to desensitize that belief and reprogram in a new one. Then With becoming limitless, you also get 30 minutes to spend with me at a time within the next 30 days from taking your workshop to really take momentum and create lasting change with the beliefs that you're shifting. So if becoming limitless is something that interests you, I honestly, it's so worth it.
It's just 79. You can jump into the link below. And as I said, you get instant access to that amazing system. So what do we do when we feel jealous? I've got four steps for you. Let's start with step number one. Step number one is you actually need to be aware that you are feeling jealous. So what I want you to do now is think about something that has previously made you feel jealous, not envious, okay?
Not just envying something that you see somebody else has in their life that potentially you desire. [00:08:00] But when you are feeling jealous, when your brain, when your body is telling you that there is a threat attached to this, what is actually happening in your body? What do you notice? Do you notice you start to feel angry?
Do you feel resentful? Do you feel completely flat and low? That's what happens to me. When I feel jealous, I recognize it because I just go like silent inside. I feel inadequate. I feel completely like, Oh, and I've had that feeling before. I've had that feeling before when I've seen somebody that I've spoken to and offered something to working with somebody else that I know, I've had that feeling before when I've seen somebody on a podcast that I hadn't even pitched myself to.
That I'm like, Oh, my friends on that, love that for them, love that for them. But why wasn't I asked? And those thoughts are just so unhelpful. But what I love about this process, these four steps is that I'm able to shift that really [00:09:00] quickly. Okay, because what you do with this is up to you, completely up to you.
You could let that fuel the story that you are not good enough, that you are inadequate. Let's come back to reality. I haven't even pitched for that podcast. What am I supposed to do? Magically, telepathically know that I would like to speak on their podcast? No. So what I want you to do is get really clear for you so you have the awareness of when it's happening.
What does jealousy feel like in your body? And you might like to even pause me and journal that. What am I thinking when it happens? What sensations do I feel? What emotions do I recognize? So that's step number one. Step number two then is looking at what have I made this mean and getting clear. What have I made this mean?
I've become jealous of this thing. What have I made this mean about myself or about my [00:10:00] abilities or about my perception of the world? Just like exactly what I just said before, I made something mean that I wasn't good enough to be thought about to go on that podcast. I hadn't pitched it. They didn't know I existed.
Like they knew I existed, but like they, they didn't know I was interested, but I had made it mean something else, something completely untrue. Something completely untrue. Something that was coming from. Core belief wounds that I then had an opportunity to shift, to explore, to bring some healing to.
I got to touch base with my inner child. This is not you not being good enough. This is not you not being chosen. This is just you needing to actually step up and put yourself out there. This is not you not [00:11:00] being good enough. So step two is to identify, what have I made this mean? And again, you might like to pause and do some journaling.
What have I made this mean about me? And then step three is where it actually gets really fun. Step three is where we then start to flip the perception. And by the way, step two is where you would then go and apply the becoming limitless process and workshop. And if you have access to that workshop, any time a belief comes up that you need to shift, you can actually either go through the journal that comes with it, or you can go back into the workshop, go to a certain time where the four step process starts.
And go through that 20 minute process on your own to clear and shift new beliefs as they come up. Okay. So it's not like a one and done kind of thing. It's let's use this tool at every single level that we get to. I love that. [00:12:00] So step three is where I then I'm going to ask you to lean in. I'm going to ask you to lean into this person, to this thing, I'm going to ask you to thank the universe.
and lean your God, your higher power and lean in. Okay. Because when we lean into this, we're going to start to get curious. I didn't even know I wanted to be on that podcast. I did not even know that when we lean in, we start to actually be shown desires that we have. That we didn't know that we had, okay?
So when we lean in, we start to see that we wouldn't have even had an emotional reaction to this if we didn't care.
I'll just quickly clarify too, with step two, when we are identifying what have we made this mean with the beliefs, that's where we are bringing the safety to [00:13:00] the threat. Okay. Why is this a threat to me? And then you get to shift all of that. So then we've leaned in and we're like, okay, I'm really curious.
What is it about this person that I'm jealous of, about this generally it's a person. What is it about this person, this thing that's happened that I am jealous of? And when we lean in and we get curious, we are often shown that there are desires that we have or things that are possible for us.
There weren't even in our awareness. And sometimes we lean in and we get curious and we realize that there is a quality about that person that we actually wish we had ourselves. But guess what? It doesn't have to stop at the wish. It doesn't have to stop at the, Oh, I wish I had that, but I'll never, she's so this and I'll never be that.
She's so confident and I'll never be that. She gets all of this and I don't get that. She gets all the clients and now [00:14:00] there's none left for me. Lean in and see what it is. If she has a sold out business, if her calendar is fully booked and you want that, you don't be jealous. You blend step four and step four is leaning into that jealousy and then trusting that God the universe like this pathway has not been I was about to say lit up This part.
It's not been lit up. I'm trying to get my words, right? This pathway has not been lit up for you to see if it wasn't possible for you to have You Okay. So step four is actually then making a choice. It's making a choice about what actions you are going to take. If you desire that quality, if you, sorry, are jealous of, a quality within somebody, [00:15:00] what belief do you need to shift within you to be able to embody that quality?
Why is it that just because you are the way you are now or business is the way it is now means it won't change. And if you're sitting in the energy of jealousy and you're there frequently, because it's okay to jump in there every now and again, but again, then we apply these four steps. And if you're sitting in that energy of jealousy and that frequency of jealousy all the time, then you are sitting in a frequency of scarcity.
And you are, when we are in scarcity in our business. And I've said this before, when we are in scarcity, when we do not believe that there is enough, there is not enough money, there is all that person spent their money on that person's course. Therefore, they can't have my coaching to know. We don't say that we don't believe that there is lack because when we sit in that scarcity and we apply our own scarcity beliefs into our business, then we are energetically closed for business.
I [00:16:00] have said this to you before. So lean in. What are you being shown? What is it about these? That you are being shown that is actually possible for you and do you want it? And if you want it, then we come back to the question of who do I need to be to get there? What do I need to do that? Not reaffirm your stories that because they have it you can't, because they've done it you can't.
Because that person worked with them instead that you can't have someone as well, or that you both can't have them. It's an abundance mindset, but it's also a beautiful curiosity and a beautiful opportunity for you to see I truly believe that jealousy. It's an invitation for you to meet your next edge because every time we meet fear, which is again, remember there is a threat [00:17:00] of security here.
There is, a threat that is coming with jealousy. Every time we meet fear, we get an opportunity to move through a new edge. We also, it's a choice. It's an opportunity to move through a new edge or a choice to let the fear take over and to retreat. And to stay stuck and to keep fueling and allowing those thoughts that come the thoughts that keep you stuck in this space of jealousy.
the thoughts that reinforce those feelings in your body and reinforce the belief that is firing off the stories that say, I can't do this. I'm not good enough. They're better than this. And that is the perception you're going to see the world. If they're the stories that you're telling yourself.
So I would love to hear your thoughts on today's episode. Do you have a different perspective on jealousy? Can you come over to Instagram? Come and DM me. I love to chat. Probably gathered that I'll probably voice [00:18:00] message you back. Come and DM me. And share with me what you are now going to lean into instead of being consumed by feelings of jealousy.
