EP 139: The secret to moving forward in business even when fear shows up
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[00:00:00] Are you a soul centered entrepreneur ready to step into your power and create a life and business you love? Welcome to the Alive and Thriving podcast, where host Jessica and industry experts explore how your inner world fuels your outer success. Let's dive in and ignite the embodied leader you were meant to be.
squadcaster-26aj_3_10-30-2024_104742: What if the thing that you fear the most isn't as powerful as you think? What if the fear of what could happen, the stories in your head that are preventing you from making decisions, from being visible, to launching offers, to putting up pricing. What if that fear of what could happen is the only thing that is actually standing in between you and the business that you are meant to create?
This is what we are going to talk about today, and I want to start today's session with some [00:01:00] questions for you to start to bring to the front of your mind, because my hope is that you leave today's session, this today's episode feeling like you can actually push through the fear, that the fear is something that is likely in a lot of cases going to be fabricated in your mind.
And you're going to get to choose, you're going to feel really empowered. Do I still allow this to hold me back or not? So what is the thing? What is the thing that you have been avoiding because fear has gotten in the way? And have you ever wondered what is really beneath that fear? Have you ever sat down and sat with yourself is it a fear of rejection or failure or fear of being judged or something deeper?
I'm so willing to bet that the story that you are telling yourself that it isn't actually what it is. Start with the story, but I'm willing to bet it goes deeper than that. Most importantly, what if the thing that you are most afraid of, What if that isn't even the real problem? I know that's going to ruffle some feathers.
Some [00:02:00] people are going to feel really poked by that, but what if it's not even a problem at all? Okay. Welcome beautiful to alive and thriving. Welcome back. If you are joining us again, for those who are brand new to this space, my name is Jessica. I am an alternative therapist and holistic business mentor.
I help entrepreneurs just like you to have a healthy, emotional, experience in their life and their business and to scale in a way that is sustainable in a way that really nourishes your nervous system and is really strength led. And today I'm inviting you to sit with that really important question that we just asked.
What if that fear isn't real? What is the thing that I'm most afraid of? And actually, I have another question. Maybe this one's really important. What's the worst that can happen? What is the worst that can happen [00:03:00] and why does that feel like the worst thing that could happen? Because if you are anything like the amazing women that I work with, you are not afraid of just taking action.
You do you just I'm going to take action on this and take action on this, but you're afraid of what actually might come after taking that action. It's the, what ifs, it's the, what if this doesn't work? It's the, what if I fail? It's the, what if people judge me and these scenarios get run around in our heads.
On repeat, and I am not immune to this, I want you to know I am not immune to this. I have done so much work though to be able to enable myself to, to identify. Is this a space that I'm actually going through this with my masterminders tomorrow? Is this a space where I need to be taking self leadership or is this something self leadership either way, but is this something that I actually need to coach myself through or that I need to get healing help with?
Or is this something that I actually just have to sit [00:04:00] with? Feel it and move forward anyway. And when these scenarios are running on repeat in your mind, they keep you from making these moves that you know that you need to make. And what will then likely happen is you will start to enter a space of misalignment where you will feel anxiety.
Or you may feel anxiety, or you may feel mood swings, or you may feel this deep sense of your not self theme. Because you are allowing this fear to hold you back, and I'm saying allowing. I want you to really hear that word, and again, if that pokes you, be poked. You are allowing this fear to hold you back.
So today we're going to unpack that fear. We're not just here to push it down, we're not here to pretend it doesn't exist. You wouldn't be human if you didn't have fear. So we're going to sit with it. We're going to explore it. We're going to see what it really is for you because only by doing that, can we decide if we're really going to allow this to hold us back or not?
[00:05:00] So what is actually beneath the fear? Because every single fear that we experience has a story attached to it. Whether it's the fear of failure or rejection or being judged or losing control or whatever it is, losing everything. I hear so often. What if I lose everything? I'm going to tell you a story about that in a moment, but often we fear these things like raising our prices or pitching our office or hiring team members, showing up in spaces where we might feel out of place, but beneath these fears, there is a different story.
I fear I had fear of letting go. Fear of letting go of things that weren't serving me anymore. I was like The emotional hoarder because there are big things big shifts in my life that have happened recently Personally and professionally and as it came time to let go there was this huge deep fear.
Am I making the right decision? what happens if I not and I then perfect timing as always, I was at my, mastermind [00:06:00] retreat last week and the fear had taken over my body and I knew, what was happening and I was observing it and I had to self lead. I took myself away and I spent the afternoon sobbing in my hotel room, basically like feeling what I needed to feel and looking after myself.
And while I was in that hotel bed, you. Subbing, there was a guest speaker and I was listening in online at that point and she said to us all, what if you if I should she asked herself at one point, if I lost everything and I actually had to live in a car, still have my family.
If I lost everything, would I actually be okay? Would I be okay? And she was like, yeah, I would. And I started going through my own fear. And I was like, okay, if I let this go, if I have this conversation, if I make this big, scary move and it doesn't work out, am I [00:07:00] actually going to be okay? Can I remind myself to come back to my body, to come back to my internal guidance system?
And that was just this moment for me that was like, Oh yes, I can. I can, I, and I should, and I will. Beneath these fears, there's often a deeper story. Do I fail? I'm not good enough. If they reject me, I don't belong. If I succeed, will I be able to handle it? Because we often forget there's a fear not only of failing, but a fear of success as well.
So the goal is for you to get really curious about these stories and to not judge them. What are you actually really afraid of? Why does it feel like the worst thing that could happen? Because I hear like I've heard as people say a lot, Oh, what if I lose everything? And that's why that question for me, because I was feeling something similar at that point, will I actually be okay?
Yes, I actually would. I truly deeply believe that I [00:08:00] would. And I also believe that there are many other things that I would do to pivot before I truly lost everything. It's just this, story, it is where your mind goes. It is just trying to keep you safe. So I asked my clients to really break it down, like really, break it down.
Okay. If I, for example, the lost everything, like if I lost everything, what does that mean? Okay. I might not be able to pay my mortgage. Okay. But would you have somewhere to live? Oh yeah. I could live with my friend. I could live with my parents. I could rent. Okay. So we're still surviving.
We're still got a roof over our heads. This is an attachment to a physical thing. This is an attachment to your home. What else? What else is the worst that could happen? And when you actually break down that worst case scenario, Then quite often, we can actually start to detach to it because if we can sit there and particularly if we can tap at the same time, I normally will use tapping when I'm doing this with my clients.
We can sit there and we can tap and we can say, what is the worst thing? Okay what if I can't pay my mortgage? [00:09:00] Okay what if you can't? What happens then? I lose my home. Okay what happens then? Okay. Then I go and live here. Okay. And then what happens then? I'd probably do this.
Okay. What happens then? Okay. Actually, I'm okay. And maybe I'd feel a little freer if I didn't have this mortgage commitment we can chunk it down, chunk down that worst case scenario. I want you to challenge it. I want you to really challenge it because once you've identified that fear, I want you to ask yourself, is this logical or is it just familiar?
Because often the things that we fear are rooted in our past experiences or our conditioning. So maybe you've been judged before or rejected before and your nervous system is actually just trying to protect you from that happening again. But here's the thing, just because it's familiar doesn't mean it's inevitable.
You have the power to reprogram your mind and your body, and that fear may be real, and boy, as someone who has had around 15 panic attacks in the last just two weeks, [00:10:00] I know how real that fear is in my body, but it doesn't have to dictate your actions. So ask yourself, do I really want to let this old story run the show, or am I ready to release it and move forward?
Because fear is a part of our human experience. And especially when we're stepping into something new or we're stepping into our next level, but it doesn't mean you're doing something wrong, just means that you're growing, means that you're elevating the fear, the challenges, these all come right before your next level.
That is natural. That is normal. But the question is, what are you going to do with that fear? What are you going to make it mean? Can you acknowledge it? Can you thank it for protecting you and then move forward anyway? Can you trust đđź that you will be able to handle whatever comes to you, no matter what, if the very thing that you fear is actually the most doorway what if it is the doorway to your next [00:11:00] level?
And what if putting yourself out there, raising your prices, pitching to podcasts, hiring support? Cutting back in your hours so that you can have a more freedom filled life, fueled by your business, moving states, selling houses, making big changes in your life. What if these things that you fear are the very thing that are actually going to take you to your next step, not just in your business journey, but in your personal satisfaction and peace journey too.
Here is something really, powerful that I just want you to sit with. I don't believe there is any such thing as failure, only lessons. And so many people are scared of failing, they're scared of succeeding too, but they're scared of failing. And I've shared, I'm not going to share it again today, you can go back and listen to episodes where I speak about, the 40, 000 that I lost when I was 23 in a business.
That in my mind, I was like I failed, I suck, I failed, and I ran [00:12:00] away from the business. Every time we take action though, we get feedback. We have this conversation constantly in the mastermind. I launched, didn't go the way I planned. This happened, didn't go the way I planned. I failed.
No, you didn't fail. What have you learned from this? Okay let's look at the numbers. Let's look at the analytics. Let's not make meaning and go back and listen to last week's episode. Actually, last week's episode is a whole, it's an hour and a half free training. It's about an hour of the actual training that talks exactly about this.
So you can ask yourself, what if I fail, but you can also ask yourself, what if I learn, and you need to have that contrast. You have to. We can't move forward without that contrast of what doesn't work, what we don't want, the challenges. The challenge is we can either get stuck in them, or they can be contrasted to what we want.
We can shift our focus and we can move the other direction. So this shift is what builds emotional resilience. It is the difference between [00:13:00] being stuck in fear and moving forward with curiosity and trust. The most successful people that I know, they are not fearless. They have just learned how to interpret fear differently.
They see challenges as an opportunity to grow, đą not a sign to stop. đ And that's where most of us are going to go wrong. As you listen to this now, I have a couple of journaling đ prompts that we might put in the show notes as well. You might want to write these down. Again, you can copy and paste them from the show notes.
But I want you to write down and explore in your journal or meditate on what is the thing that I'm most afraid of right now? And if you want to come and debrief these with me on Instagram, đ˛ that is an invitation to come and debrief these in my DMs. đ Okay, just say hi, I'm debriefing the fear and tell me what you've come up with.
What story am I telling myself about this fear? Is this fear logical or just familiar? [00:14:00] If I release the fear, what is possible for me on the other side? And what is one small action that I can take today, even if the fear is still present? And I want you to use these questions to connect with what's really going on beneath your fear.
This is not trying to get it right. There is no right or wrong. And then once once you understand we have choices. You can move forward on your own. You can use a tool like EFT and I've got a whole library of EFT audios, meditations, hypnosis is come and chat to me. I can tell you how to get access to that.
I have a whole program dedicated to teaching your nervous system how to feel safe in the self belief in the authority in the new label of entrepreneur and the new identity that you need to hold. Transcribed There are multiple ways that, that you can support yourself or that we can work together, which you can explore the links down below in the show notes.
There are multiple ways that we can work together [00:15:00] for you to move through this fear and, teach yourself safety in it. And if you want to get down into that deeper root cause, then that is something that's really what I specialize in. So there you go. You're in the right place. The thing is that fear is inevitable.
But clarity is what gives us the courage to move forward anyway. So when you allow yourself to explore your fears, when you strip away the layers and you get to that root, and that most of them aren't actually as powerful as they seemed, you are going to realize that the worst thing that can happen is often just a story that your mind has been telling you, okay?
Bar any kind of like real physical danger, generally it is just a story that your mind has told you to be scared of. And that again, another attempt for your nervous system to attempt itself. And it is a story that you actually no longer have to believe. You have got this. Oh, you have got this. You [00:16:00] are so fully capable of handling whatever comes your way in life or business.
And I'll bet if you looked back on the things that you have moved through despite having fear and you can actually sit there and you can touch your body down, you can pat yourself down, you can be like, no, I'm still here. I'm still breathing. I'm still alive. I made it through this despite my mind telling me that it was a life or death situation to stand up and speak in front of those people.
And the more you learn to trust yourself, the more resilient you are going to become. So I'm going to leave you with a question today. And that question is, what's the one thing that you've been avoiding because of fear? And what is one small, brave step that you can take today to move through it? Because on the other side of that fear lies your next level.
And you deserve to be there. And if you would like my help to get there, if you would like to learn how to start 2025 in your highest expression, or even to shift into your highest expression, now [00:17:00] the less chat about my private mentoring, they have very limited containers, the transcendence mastermind and the embodied entrepreneur program.
Each of these serves a different purpose. There is a links to all of these below, but if you are a sole led entrepreneur who wants to grow their business, who wants to scale their business sustainably, he wants to really embody that, that woman who is already successful, then these, the programs that can help you get there.
If you are that woman who has already built a successful business, but you know that your internal world does not look and feel as successful as your business does on paper, then I have a container for you too. That's our private mentoring space. That's the mastermind. You can choose. I look forward to seeing you on Instagram.
You're going to come over to my DMs and you're going to tell me, you're going to share with me your journaling [00:18:00] prompts. And tell me what step are you going to take now? Despite the fear. What is that step? I can't wait to see you at your next level.
That's a wrap on today's episode. Feeling inspired to explore your inner world and reach your full potential? We'd love to hear from you. Subscribe for more, leave a review and share your takeaways on Instagram at jessica. reid. ilc. Until next time, keep thriving!
