EP 142
===
[00:00:00] Are you a soul centered entrepreneur ready to step into your power and create a life and business you love? Welcome to the Alive and Thriving podcast, where host Jessica and industry experts explore how your inner world fuels your outer success. Let's dive in and ignite the embodied leader you were meant to be.
jess_1_11-19-2024_113032: Have you ever felt like life just keeps testing you as if every breakthrough is just preceded by yet another challenge and then another challenge and it might even feel like you are never actually getting a break from the challenges? I know for me that was the story of my life for a very, long time.
And whilst I am still experiencing challenges, okay, if you follow me on Instagram, you would have seen recently that I shared like life has been challenging me. It has been giving me an opportunity [00:01:00] to be tested. No, I wouldn't say tested. I'd say prepared, for the bigger things that I am asking for. But what I want to share about today and what we're really going to talk about today is a perception shift.
And an inner narrative that I have had to change within my own mind. Within how I feel about the challenges that I'm experiencing. And I'm going to share probably quite a personal story with you today. One that some of you have already heard, but from the lens today of my human design, because what if those struggles were the very experiences designed to shape your purpose and to lead you into your highest potential.
Again that is, not the mindset that I used to have around my struggle. So I'm going to peel back these layers of my story. I'm going to dive into my human design because in my human design, I have really specifically, we're going to talk about the channel of [00:02:00] struggle and the channel of crisis because I have both of those in my chart and I want to show you how some of the hardest moments of my life And I'm going to be talking about how the past and the present have actually been a foundation for the life that I'm living now and for the future life that I am creating as well.
So if you are brand new here, welcome. Hi, I am Jessica. I am a mother. I am an emotional manifesting generator with a 6'3 profile in human design because that's what we're going to talk about today. I am also a mentor. For sole led entrepreneurs who are ready to become an energetic match for the business that they are creating.
So we work with your mind, with your body, with your emotions, and with your strength led strategy in your business to grow a successful, scalable, and sustainable business. So as a six three profile in my human design, this means that my life is this continuous dance. Or sometimes it doesn't feel like we're going back and forth.
It is a [00:03:00] continuous dance between learning through experience, and then stepping into a role model space. I am literally here to help you to have a healthy emotional experience in your life. That is a part of my sole purpose. I am here to make the mistakes first, to trial the things, and then to come and say, Hey, And let's just say, you know what?
Take it from me. This didn't work. Let me save you some time there. Let me share with you my mistakes. Now my mistakes are the very, things that I used to feel shame about. I think I might have shared this once before. Like my mentor planted a seed years ago and she said you should be mentoring women in business.
And I straight away shut down. the story in my head was like, I can't do that. Why can't I do that? Because I had a business that lost 40, 000 and, who would want to learn from me because I failed. That was my story. [00:04:00] I never, I didn't understand my human design. Then I had no compassion for the fact that I had to experience things to know that they weren't from me for the fact that I had to make mistakes.
I have to make mistakes. A six line profile spends the first, what, nearly 30 years of their life as a three, making mistakes, testing, experimenting. And that is what I have been doing for my whole life and I never understood it. I never understood it. So I am here to literally make these mistakes and then stand here and say, I'm going to role model this.
And where I really want to step into today, particularly in this space of, sharing with you how I am role modeling and coming forth and saying, I know that we have challenges in our life. I know that we have struggle. I know that life is going to throw crisis. But in my human design, I actually carry the channel of struggle and crisis, which [00:05:00] it's exactly what it sounds like it is.
It truly is. And there was so long in my life where I actually felt truly like embarrassed. I was so embarrassed that it felt like for me, there was always just one thing after another, going wrong. And I'm going to get a little bit deeper into my story shortly, but here is the thing, the channel of struggle and the channel of crisis.
is actually a pathway of turning hardship into resilience and into transformation. and into impact. Okay? It has not been an easy road and I know. And I'm making peace with the fact that it may continue to not be an easy road for me. But with every setback, I have learned to face challenges differently because I've had to.
And with every single setback, All right. Every challenge, every illness, every piece of every bit of anxiety, every time that I've [00:06:00] had something physically go wrong in my body, go wrong in my mind, everything, something has gone wrong at home, in my business, like everywhere. Every single setback has given me a deeper understanding of myself, but also a deeper understanding of my purpose and the work that I'm here to do.
I have had. I don't know if you've heard someone recently say to me in my mastermind space because we're very open in there and I am somebody who very much leads by example. I am not going to come in to my clients when I'm in my kind of space, but I am going to come in and I'm going to say, hey, I've just been through this struggle, or I'm coming out the tail end of it.
And here is what helped. But also I'm going to show out raw and I'm going to show up vulnerable and I'm going to show up and show you that things are really fucking hard sometimes. And that when these things get hard, we have a choice in how we show up and like to be really transparent. I have felt like I have been challenged [00:07:00] over the last, oh gosh, probably since the end of August, I've been challenged in that part of me.
Okay. is already living this manifestation and a part of me is trying to keep me very, stuck because there's been a lot for me to explore, to let go of. There are parts of me that have had to die to move forward, but then we've also had challenges at home. I've had challenges with my kids. I've had challenges with pets and loved ones and so many challenges are coming forward for me at the moment.
And I think one of the biggest things when it comes to struggle that really landed for me is that, particularly with that channel in my human design, is that when it comes to struggle, I actually get to choose what struggles I enter into. I get to have a response. a sacral response to what struggles are worth me entering into.
[00:08:00] And that lens has been a huge game changer for me. Now, when you're looking at your lenses from a human design, obviously it is very individualized. So this is only speaking from my experience, that we're, I was in my mastermind and I was having a conversation with one of my ladies who has also struggled recently.
She had been feeling all of the depths of Running her business and things going on at home and feeling really detached from herself and having some stress going on. She was feeling all of that, and I shared with her a little bit about what I had been going through personally, how some of the anxiety that is a big messenger for me, like anxiety is something that comes into my body when something is really misaligned.
And I never realized that. And for years, and I'll share a little bit more about this in a moment, but for years and years, I literally just accepted that's how I was feeling in the sense of, Oh, [00:09:00] I'm an anxious person and I have to live with this anxiety. And I never looked any deeper as to why I was so misaligned, what this message could possibly be about.
So now I know. Now I know. Now the thing is, I am so aware. I know I have tools. I am I'm getting my own support because I can't grow and lead other people through if I am not actually doing that myself. But the thing is, that SummerFat, And that is going to take some time, because some of the things that I am doing are big, some of the changes that I want to make in my life are big, and some of the messages of things that are now feeling really misaligned, because there is a part of me, again, that has quantum leaped into this whole new space, and that part of me she is there.
She is there. And then that's triggering up these parts of me inside that are coming forward from childhood from early childhood saying, Hey, but do you actually believe that you are innately worthy enough for [00:10:00] this? Do you actually feel like you have the self esteem to carry this? All of these things that are coming up.
Okay, on top of the life struggles and I shared all of this with my client really openly about the things that I had been going through, but also the way that I have been navigating it because in this time, there are things that I need to do within my world to make sure that I don't fall into a heap one because I have been in places before.
Where panic and anxiety have actually led me to falling in a heap and that is, not a nice place to be. So one, that I don't completely fall into a heap, but two, that I have things in place in my business as well to make sure that some things keep going, that I don't just suddenly struggle and have a crisis in my life and completely lose everything that I've been working towards.
I've been working very hard. Over the last few years to build these systems, to build these supports, to build my business in a [00:11:00] way that even if I am struggling, it is still easy for me to show up. Okay. And people we're seeing those changes. I'm pulling back on some things that I'm doing. I am stepping into other spaces.
I'm holding more boundaries. I am I am doing all of the things that I need to be doing to make sure that while I'm in this. This growth period, and I will call it a growth period because I don't want to call it a struggle right now. I will call it a growth period. But while I'm in that growth period that I am actually still moving forward rather than having this anxiety come through.
For me, anxiety comes through with panic attacks. It can feel like it can be very consuming and very debilitating. But I also accept that given that what I have going on within my mind and within my life and with all of the changes that are happening in terms of energetically for me, everything that I'm sitting in, it's okay, I'm actually not going to make this mean what I [00:12:00] used to make it mean what I am actually going to do is I'm going to accept.
I'm going to accept that right now, maybe I need to hermit a little more. That's okay. That right now, maybe I need to turn inward right now. Maybe my focus needs to be more at home than in other places. Like right now, that's okay. it really is truly okay. Whereas past me would have completely just spiraled.
Oh no, I'm feeling this again. I'm stuck feeling like this. Why me? All of those types of things. So understanding my human design has had this huge impact on the way that I have navigated forward. Also a lot of the challenges that I have had. Again, we come into challenges and we get an opportunity to either meet them as our next level version of ourselves.
Or we get to meet those challenges, the same level version of ourselves, in which case we're going to have the same outcome and that's what led me to literally just never looking into from [00:13:00] like an emotional life root cause level of what is this anxiety is about? I want to talk a moment about the channel of struggle and the channel of crisis because they do sound really extreme in human design.
Now again, I'm not a human design expert. This is coming from my understanding of what I have been learning for the past two years about myself. I highly encourage because even with certain channels, there are other gates and channels and things that are always going to come into play in your own individual chart.
So it's not just like black and white. You're this. So therefore, this is exactly how you're going to experience it. So I do highly recommend having a chat with Tegan. Tegan is my human design coach. She is amazing. And there is an episode gosh, a couple of months back now, if you want to get a feel for her, but go and have a private reading with her.
She is amazing. She also coaches in the mastermind as well. So if you are actually thinking about, I would love to step into [00:14:00] 2025 in my highest expression, and I would love to do that from a real lens of like energetic strength and alignment and run my business from the lens of human design, from the lens of my unique strength, from the lens of a way that prioritizes my nervous system.
Then please let's come and chat about the mastermind because I have four places available right now, just four. That's it. So come and have a conversation. In human design, the channel of struggle and crisis is really about learning through my adversity. It is this really deeply emotional energy. Lucky me, I'm already an emotional that really challenged me, challenges me to embrace hardship as a transformative force.
Now, again, that was a really hard pill for me to swallow for so many years. So for those of us with this channel, it really can feel like life throws us more obstacles. than other people. It can feel like that, but here's the truth. [00:15:00] These struggles are not here to break us. They're actually here to refine us.
And when I look back, when I actually reflect back on the struggles that I have entered into, unknowingly at first, and then now willingly, if you as I have a response to now, but those struggles that I have actually entered into, they have always led to me helping other people. They have always led to me having this greater emotional resilience.
They have led to me having this bigger picture view. They have led to me discovering new ways to, to support myself, new learnings, new modalities, new certifications. Like they have always led to something that has actually become very purposeful to me. Because for me, from my interpretation, this channel asks one big question, [00:16:00] and that is, will you turn your pain into purpose or will you let it define you?
And for a really long time, I feel emotional for a really, long time. I did let it define me. I really, truly did. But through all of those years of trial and error and healing, I discovered for myself how I can navigate this energy. So that one, I can continue to navigate it because again, I'm, not immune to struggle and I'm not immune to challenges.
None of us are, but I, am starting to accept that as a part of who I am and why I'm here and how I am here to help people, there is a real element, like I have to be in the shit first. And that terrified me at first. That really, truly terrified me. So I have had to learn to navigate this energy. And now I do see a lot of it as a gift.
Obviously there are some [00:17:00] things that are really, hard to work through. There are some challenges that are devastating. But I do my best to work through and take the spiritual lessons and take what I need to gain from it. each disaster or each crisis and use it to not only support just my life but also the lives of those people that I am serving in my community, that I'm serving in my containers, that I'm serving at home as well.
So I want to take you back now. Gosh, where do I even start? When I look at, again, that sort of victim mentality that I am always having something wrong, That is something that really felt really prominent for me right from about when I was 21. When I was 21, I had a big car accident.
I had all of these physical struggles after that. I developed PTSD. There [00:18:00] was all of these, follow on effects that went for years, like years and years of rehab, years and years of struggling with this. But there was a real part of my mind that really kept me in that struggle as well. And so when I really reflect back, I can see all of these opportunities that I have had to actually realize that a lot of the struggles, I know I didn't opt into the car accident, but a lot of the struggles that I have had, I have actually really, I have chosen to be there.
I've chosen to stay there, I think is my point. I've chosen to stay and enter into these struggles. Rather than focusing on a mindset of healing at that time, I was very focused in my mindset of what I was experiencing in terms of PTSD, in terms of why me, and from there things just seemed to continue to get worse in terms of the amount of challenges that I was experiencing.
And then, [00:19:00] Things settle down. I get a break. Things get a bit better. I was 25 years old when I decided to leave the job that I had been in for quite a while and start a health and wellness exhibition actually started an events company. I was running other events as well. But this expo was my like, it was my creation.
It was me bringing my visionary. It was just so funny. I literally put on a piece of music, I was dancing, and then I had this thing drop into my head. And then I was like, I'm creating this expo and I could see it. So I created this space. It was a space for people to promote health and wellbeing. It was something I felt really passionate about.
Anyone can be active. We had stallholders who were serving right from kids and not for profits right up to big gyms. And we had a crossfit competition at the second one. Like we had all of these things going on. It was a really, amazing event. And I made that happen. I created that.
So let [00:20:00] me just be really clear that whilst I have these straggles, Inside of us, and I'm going to do a whole episode on parts. We have multiple parts that are coming forward within our personality that are coming into the window of consciousness at any time. So there are always parts of me that would then pick myself back up, that would then come back bigger and stronger, because that experience of the car accident, of the physical injury, that was something that really led me to be so passionate about this exhibition.
So I've created this exhibition. There was, I can't remember exactly the numbers now, but I think we had about 2000 people through the gates in the first year. And I think around 100 exhibitors. Second year, it grew. We had more exhibitors. We had more people through the gates, but my expenses also grew.
I wasn't someone who was like, Oh, I'm just going to go to a community hall to run this exhibition. I was like, yeah. It has to be. The biggest has to be Exhibition Park in Canberra. We're paying tens of thousand dollars for the [00:21:00] venue. There was so many costs. I brought in a fitness influencer and at that point in time, there was only really a couple of them because influencers weren't really a thing back then.
In that, in the sense that we know them now. And so in the second year, I didn't trust myself to charge what I was worth. I over delivered, I discounted everything. I absorbed so much financial and emotional stress that it completely crushed me. And at the end of that year, at the end of that event, I lost 40, 000.
And I remember I was 25, I had a mortgage. I was like, oh my god, I thought that was the end of the world for me. I really truly did. So I ghosted that business. I ghosted it and I carried that shame around. It literally lived in my body. I couldn't even look at the commercials. I couldn't look at any memories.
I never even retrieved the footage of my second year. Like I paid a videographer to be there all day [00:22:00] long. I never went and retrieved the footage from him. So when this exhibition, quote unquote, failed financially, I just felt like a failure. I shut it all down. I returned back to traditional employment and let this, error, this mistake, remember my third line, I let that, mistake and the stories that I had attached to that and the emotions that were so damn uncomfortable that I felt with that and let it bury that part of me again.
That entrepreneurial part of me, that part of me that has come up 17 different like years, like 17 years over my life that I had been either in business or doing some kind of entrepreneurial venture, but she comes up and I'd have a struggle and I'd have a challenge and then she'd go hide back away because I had all this conditioning.
All of this conditioning from society that was like, Oh, you lose money, you fail. Like all of these beliefs I had about myself, some of which I'm only truly starting to [00:23:00] deeply understand now as well, which has been a big part of this big transition that I'm going through at the moment. And when I really reflect on this, I see this is the channel of struggle at work.
It's an opportunity to grow through this crisis. But back then I didn't have the tools to see it that way. So the years that followed me from that were really some of honestly the hardest of my life, harder than the car accident years, because from there, from that accident, it went in 2009. And from even my, my years as a teenager, I think back like I used to absolutely love dancing.
I was so outgoing. I was just this like different person to what I was a few years ago. But then my knees started dislocating and that continued to happen for me. So even when I reflect back that story of things are always going wrong for me, I'm not safe in my body. There's all these stories that have [00:24:00] really circled back far longer far, longer than that car accident that I just shared with you.
But what that car accident did really take with me though, was this fundamental belief that I am not safe full stop. And that has followed me. That followed me for a very long time, and I didn't understand that. So what's then happened is I've had this failure, I've had this again this, emotional trigger, and my gut, my walls are up, my guard is up.
And so I've run away from that, run away from that discomfort, shut it all down. and went and got another job. I was also pregnant with my first child at the time. I had, is it hyperremes? I forget how you say it, but the one where I literally threw up from week five of my pregnancy, right up until the moment she came out, I was vomiting.
Again, struggle, crisis, but again, not having the mindset to, to understand that this [00:25:00] had something to teach me. Instead, it was just very much this is awful. And it was awful. I'm allowed, I think I'm allowed to say that. Absolutely was awful, but I let it define me. And I think that's the difference.
So let's build, building in my nervous system. We're building that car accident. We're building other emotional relationship dramas as we have when we're in our early 20s and all of that. Then we're building this business that failed. And then we're building onto that, the fact that I then had a really unwell pregnancy and then the regular stress of being a new mom and Lack of sleep and have no idea how to navigate any of that and then I went back to work.
I went back to work after my pregnancy and the years that followed that as I just said before were honestly some of the hardest of my life. I was so disconnected from my purpose but also so disconnected from who I was. Okay, I literally just numbed myself in a regular job and this showed up and I don't say that in a bad way.
If you have a regular [00:26:00] job and you love it I'm so happy for you. But for me, I've always been pulled into these creations, into these bigger picture things. And I had, I just was like, no, you can't go there. It's not safe. So what happened was he started to show up in my body. Okay, now, everybody around me who was working the really long hours that they were working too, they were not overly well either.
I didn't really think it to be too abnormal. I ended up with these chronic migraines, chronic vestibular migraines, that were literally every single day. Brain scans, MRI scans on my brain to find out why I'm chronically dizzy, why this chronic pain is, this chronic pressure. Panic attacks, living in daily panic attacks.
I dislocated my knee again. It was my biggest, fear right from when I was 14 years old, and it happened multiple times that I would do it again. Literally, I was putting my partner's clothes away in the cupboard, turned around, and as I turned out, it went, fell down, [00:27:00] smacked my head open. Had my 18 month at home Again, challenge, struggle, but at that point in time, I just, it was just everywhere.
At that point in time, that challenge and that struggle consumed me and my brain was like, there is no way out of this. So really that need dislocation, triggered these panic attacks because what happened not long after that was us put in a knee brace. I had a fracture in my patella and from that knee brace, I'm sure it was from the knee brace.
I ended up with a provoked blood clot. Now that blood clot one day traveled up into my lungs and I had a pulmonary embolism. And for me, I will never forget that day because that feeling, Of feeling like I couldn't breathe, feeling like I was losing oxygen to my brain, that feeling. is what I then associated panic attacks afterwards to feel like.
I'd never really thought I had panic [00:28:00] attacks before that. I was anxious. Yes. PTSD. Yes. Struggle. Yes. Not panic attacks. So I've had these. So then I started having these panic attacks and I didn't know what was going on. I thought I was dying. How many times I went to the hospital and then I felt so shamed when they were like, you've had a panic attack and, go home.
And I was like no, you don't understand. You don't understand. It is exactly the same as when I had a pulmonary embolism. I feel it. I feel it. And it was, oh, it's just this awful time. This really challenging time. I was trying to fit into a life that wasn't mine. I was working these ridiculously long hours, pushing my body into something that it was literally screaming at me to stop.
I was not managing my stress. I was in and out of exercise because instead of focusing like now my mindset goes, okay, we rehabilitate. Back then it was like, no, I'm scared. I can't walk. I can't move. [00:29:00] What if my knee dislocates again? And because of the blood clots that I had, I actually had to wait nearly 18 months for my surgery to fix my knee.
And for that 18 months, I had an 18 month old and I couldn't pick her up. I was probably 12 months. I can't quite remember now. But I could not bear the weight. I had a brace that I had to wear that whole time, my leg wasted away, my knee with sublocks every time I tried to put pressure on it without that brace.
I was so scared all the time. Scared of my own body. all the time. And the thing is, yeah, I just felt like I failed. Emotionally, I felt small. I felt like I'd failed. I was so then consumed with like doctor's appointments. Oh, you've got this chronic constipation. Now you've got this chronic, painful reflux, and you're having trouble swallowing, and you're having trouble standing up because you feel so dizzy, and you're [00:30:00] struggling with the lights, and you're struggling with all of these things and you're literally spending weeks in bed at a time because of a panic attack that won't let up, and the medications that you're trying are making you feel even worse.
What do you do? I do remember being in this space that was like, I just didn't know what to do. And when I finally got myself out of that space a little bit, what got me out of that was this hope when I started learning about Ayurvedic medicine, that's where I started an Ayurvedic life.
And that's how I actually started to get this hope. I remember starting to feel a bit healthier. I, that's when I was back into my ABBA and I was doing like my 30 days to healthy living and I started exercising and started getting this like feeling of Connected back to me a little bit and then I got pregnant with my second child and in that, I know this, episode has turned into my life story, but I feel like this is also relevant because [00:31:00] I know each of you have your struggles.
So in that, I ended up again, throwing up from six to nine. Birthday, week six to birthday. And at that point, that was my second child. It was, she was unexpected for me because I had given up hope in that space. I'd just put my hands up and be like, do you know what, it's been four years. I couldn't get pregnant because of the medications I was on.
I wasn't allowed to warfarin, things like that. Poison for me, poison for the baby. And so when Amelia was conceived. There was also this huge part of me that was like so anxious again, because I just started feeling healthy and then I stopped feeling healthy again. And my body just went straight into those normal associations that I had, that I'd been trying to break.
And all of a sudden I spiraled again. And so I would be literally in this period of time before pregnancy. And during this pregnancy, I'd be driving to [00:32:00] work and I'd be like, I didn't actually know tapping at the time, but I'd be doing like that butterfly tapping that a psychologist had taught me. I had I have had panic attack from the moment I woke up.
I would be running team meetings dissociated. I don't even know how some of the words came out of my mouth. I was so miserable when I actually reflect back. And so again Scared. So I had Amelia and then that was around about the time of the bushfires here in Canberra, so my, and around Canberra, so my, senses were, my senses were really heightened from all the smoke and everything that was around.
Even going into the hospital, you couldn't escape the smell of the bushfire smoke. So I've had Amelia, my anxiety is at its all time high. I, will say I didn't enjoy the pregnancy. I was terrified of the labor. I was terrified of anything that could possibly cause me pain and discomfort in my body.
Terrified of it.
So [00:33:00] then, on this maternity leave, I ended up barely leaving the house. And then, COVID came along. March, whatever it was, June 2020, I don't remember, but 2020. Yeah, because Amelia was a few months old. And everyone we were all like, okay, we're in our homes. And I was like, okay I wasn't going to choose to be here anywhere else anyway.
The anxiety was so big. The panic attacks. I was going to acupuncture two times a week for a year, just to try and get some physical and energetic relief. I didn't know what to do. I had no idea what to do. So again, I felt small. I felt like I'd failed. I felt, I just felt so disconnected and this struggle had become my identity.
And that's the pain of staying out of alignment. That is the pain with me not realizing that, that mentally, if I have chosen, if my response is to [00:34:00] not actually enter into this struggle, then mentally I actually have a choice to try and take myself somewhere else. Those are things that I've really had to learn and that is what I am going through now.
Then my body says, Oh, this is a struggle. And then my head says, yes, but I have a choice. I have a choice. Do I really want to enter this? Is this worth me staying in? But here's the thing about this six, three profile. When I reflect back on this really, challenging time is that this trial and error this, energy, this learning, these challenges, It was there, it was begging me to learn from these experiences, and at the time I wasn't.
I was too consumed by shame to listen to them. Then, when I was in my maternity leave, and some of you will have heard this story I, was scrolling Instagram one day, and I saw this post, I think it was Melissa Ambrosini, she posted, if you are struggling with anxiety through lockdown, try [00:35:00] these things, and one of them was tapping.
Just one little post. I actually had to scroll. It was a carousel. I remember one of the things was tapping. So I listened to a podcast and then I started listening to, I think it was the book by Nick Ortner. And then I downloaded their app and I was like, I'm starting to actually get a little bit of relief in my body.
And I will never forget ringing my mom and saying, do you know what? I have had this time, this hour, this 15 minutes of actually feeling normal. I started to drive my car again because I'd stopped doing that because it just felt, I don't know, when you're in anxiety, when you're in vestibular migraines, it's like the world is spinning around you.
You don't feel safe on your feet, you don't feel stable. So I started to do these things and tapping was what got me there. And for me then to go, okay, I'm going to learn EFT. I, at that point, it was purely, I guess what I'd call selfish. It was like, I want to self heal. [00:36:00] I had that hope back. That same hope is when I turned to Ayurveda years ago.
I was like, I have that hope back. There is a better way. And I'm going to find it. And this is like this lifeline. It was like this lifeline to calm my nervous system, this lifeline to clear the shame that I've been carrying and to reconnect back with who I was and back with my inner wisdom. So through tapping, the way that I obviously did it, I went dive headfirst in, we're going to do like a 12 month qualification and we're going to do it with life coaching as well.
And then as from there, I have done so many other. Certification, so much other learning. I've got a diploma in clinical hypnotherapy, as well as all of these other amazing modalities that I have learned. But that started from the tapping. That started from the tapping, rewiring my subconscious beliefs from me going through this personal peace procedure with EFT to actually realize and see that I [00:37:00] can feel better and I can support myself.
And then as I've gone deeper into this journey, I decided then this entrepreneurial part of me, she felt safe enough to come back. And so she started this business. And at first she's there and she's helping other people move through their stress and move through their anxiety and work through their trauma with AFT and with these other modalities.
And then. She's joining this mastermind and she's like leveling up her business. And then her big ambitions start coming back and I start to feel like me again. And through all of this, I was introduced to my human design. And again, that has allowed me to then see these things in these different lenses, that these struggles have now become my lessons that I can now share and teach that I actually hold this depth with these things, with these experiences that I've had.
And the struggle hasn't stopped. Two years into my business, my best friend passed away completely unexpectedly. [00:38:00] 20 years that we have been friends and it was really traumatic and there has been other challenges. So many challenges, crisis that I have had to, deal with, to sit with, to learn, to navigate, but on the other side of everything, Has been a deeper spiritual connection, has been a new version of me because this time with my challenges, I have actually chosen to come at them as my next level.
Knowing that on the other side of this is a brilliant opportunity for me and knowing that a part of what I am doing that I just can't hold myself back from is being able to take that, real lived, felt experience. All of the emotions that I have felt that have kept me at my low and then I've been able to come back up to my high, but all of these emotions that I have [00:39:00] literally felt, some of which, are at such a broad scope of emotional range.
That actually gives me this beautiful gift to hold other people at a depth that a lot of people can't take you to. And so whilst there is fear popping in, and there's challenges, and there's crisis, and there's struggle, there's also then my 6 3 profile that says, hey, this is how I'm getting through this.
I'm going to show up, I'm going to show you that this is how I do it. And this is, I think, a story that I didn't finish at the beginning when I started talking about sharing my challenges with my mentee and how I'd come out the other side of it. She had said to me, it always just seems like you are nailing it.
How do you go through such challenge and still show up? That is actually a part of my journey to do that. That is not me trying to slap on a mask. I am very open and vulnerable and if I'm struggling. [00:40:00] That I am now going to allow myself to do that, if it is a struggle that I've chosen to enter into.
And I love saying that, I'm just going to say it again for myself. Because as I reflect back on the anxiety of last, particularly last month or so, as I reflect back on the panic attacks that have been coming back through my body, as I have been experiencing some crisis. There are struggles though, throughout that.
Particularly staying in that space of panic, where my brain is going, Oh, you're stuck here, you're stuck here. I have a choice. I get to choose if I stay into this struggle. So I'm just going to repeat that for myself again. So my human design profile, my six week profile, this has been a guide for me to understand my journey and for me to actually look at now, not only do I get to role model to you, how to have a healthy emotional experience how to feel your uncomfortable feelings, how to move through your challenges.[00:41:00]
How to allow yourself to be human and grow up and down. Because some of us do that like a yo. I am an emotional human being. I'm an emotional entrepreneur. I'm an emotional woman. I have a defined emotional center in my human design. I feel to the depth. It's a very depth. And then I come back up.
And then I feel to the depth again. And I come back up. And sometimes it's exhausting. But that line six is about being a role model. And I didn't step into that overnight. I'm still going and still in my observation phase, but from me, particularly with my three, my third line, I have to live it first. I have to walk through that fire so that I can lead others out of it.
My line three energy is this like learning through experimentation and it's messy and it's uncomfortable and sometimes it's really painful. But then this is where this magic is happening for me. And so these two energies together, they have taught me that my struggles are not just my obstacles. [00:42:00] They're actually my foundation for my wisdom.
They give me this deep empathy for the women that I work with. They give me this ability to hold you in a depth, to grow for your business, to grow for that greater ripple effect, that greater impact that you are having for your world. That work starts with you. And I have been gifted this opportunity to hold you there in that depth, whether you're navigating your own crisis of confidence or your alignment or your worthiness or how to scale your business and keep your nervous system safe.
As you are doing this, I have this gift. And I love that I can see it for that now, because again, before up until a few years ago, challenge and struggle, it just remained my identity. So now I love that I can look and I can say, you know what? Yeah, I have. It's been a struggle in the last few months.
Absolutely a hundred percent, but I'm not going to allow that to define me. [00:43:00] I'm surrendering a little bit right now in terms of it's okay, because I know that what I need to learn is going to benefit not only me, but everybody. It's going to benefit my girls. It's going to benefit you. There is such a ripple effect to this struggle.
So if you're listening to this today, you are feeling seen, then I want you to know that your struggles are not your end point. They are your turning point. Okay. This is whether it is your fear of visibility, whether it's your money blocks, whether it is a belief that you've identified, maybe you believe you're not good enough, not worthy enough, not insert your enough.
These challenges are invitations to grow. These challenges are preparation for the person that you have declared that you want to be. And each time you get gifted these challenges, you are being gifted an opportunity to come at them as your next level self. And each time you do that, you will have a different outcome and a different experience.
And again, when I look back on the tools that [00:44:00] I've used, when I look back on the way that I am now showing up to these challenges, I can see that again, each challenge is leaving, leading me into a deeper space of spirituality, a deeper space of being able to hold a deeper space of bringing in income, a deeper space of depth within knowing myself, everything has a purpose.
And then tools like EFT, your meditation, your movement, your mindfulness, your journaling practices are here to support you through that growth. Containers, like the Mastermind, are here to support you through that growth. Because, yes, we are building, we are scaling, we are creating strategy, but we are doing it in a way that is so unique to you that you are going to be growing.
Because our Energies of Success Framework prioritizes those three things. Your strengths and strategies are only one part of it. The rest is all about your energetic evolution, your healing, so that [00:45:00] you, become the woman who can hold. whatever business you're creating, whatever life you're desiring, so that you become the woman who can show up to a different, to a struggle, to a challenge.
And I love that we can talk about those in those space, in this space as the next level version of you. These tools don't just help you feel better in the moment. They are really about rewiring these long term patterns that are holding you back. So let me ask you, let me ask you a question as we finish up here today.
What is one struggle in your life right now that is actually asking you to grow? What would change if you saw this as an opportunity instead of a limitation? And if this resonates with you and you are ready to enter 2025 in your highest expression, then please apply for the mastermind. And if this story, my story today, any part of it resonates with you, Then please just come and say hi.
I love [00:46:00] chatting. I'll voice message back because I just typing frustrates me and I listen to my frustration as a sign of not self. So I will voice message you back and I would really love to hear share with me what this episode brought up for you. And if you're ready to rewrite your narrative, then we can work through that together, but come over and say hi on Instagram.
Thank you so much for joining me today. And remember that. If you also have the channel of struggle or crisis in your human design, it's not here to break you. It's not. It is here to build you. So learn to embrace the lessons, learn to honor the journey, learn to trust that everything that you are experiencing is preparing you for what is next until next time.
I hope you have the most amazing day or night whenever you're listening and I cannot wait to hold this space and connect with you again next week. I will see you over in my DMs.
[00:47:00] That's a wrap on today's episode. Feeling inspired to explore your inner world and reach your full potential? We'd love to hear from you. Subscribe for more, leave a review and share your takeaways on Instagram at jessica. reid. ilc. Until next time, keep thriving!
